The Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students

This article humorously explores the common exaggerations and outright lies often told by graduate students. It’s all in good fun, of course, and many can relate to the pressures and anxieties that might lead to these little fibs.

Here are the top ten lies:

1. “It doesn’t bother me at all that my college roommate is making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.” (Said with a forced smile and a hint of resentment.)
2. “I’d be delighted to proofread your book/article/chapter.” (Said while secretly dreading the task and questioning your own life choices.)
3. “My work has a lot of practical importance.” (Said in the hopes of convincing yourself, if no one else.)
4. “I would never date an undergraduate.” (Said right before adding one on Facebook.)
5. “Your latest article was so inspiring.” (Said while skimming the abstract and conclusion.)
6. “I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.” (Said to justify the mountain of student loan debt.)
7. “I just have to read one more book and then I’ll start writing my thesis.” (Said every day for the next six months.)
8. “The department is giving me so much support.” (Said while silently pleading for funding.)
9. “My job prospects look really good.” (Said with fingers crossed behind your back.)
10. “No really, I’ll be out of here in only two more years.” (Said optimistically, despite knowing better.)